Ok so Jeff had knee surgery about 3 weeks ago. He had his ACL replaced and some torn stuff fixed and had a fracture set or something like that. Basically, as my kids say, "Dad's knee got jacked." He can't put any weight on his leg for 6 weeks. It has been really hard for him. He can't do a lot of things by himself. At the beginning he had a really hard time putting on his socks or putting on his brace. One morning he called me in while he was in the shower and asked if I could wash his feet. He just couldn't get down there to do it. So I did. I washed his feet. It was then that I remembered the Savior and His great example. It was then that I knew I needed to be more like Him.
Now over the course of these three weeks I have had to serve Jeff quite a lot. I bring his food to him in bed or on the couch. I get his clothes and put all of his clothes away when he drops them on the floor. I make the bed and do all the things he can't do. And do you know what? I love him more. That's right. Serving without expecting anything in return is an amazing thing. Most of the time when I do things for him, eventually I get mad if he isn't doing things back for me etc. But not this time. I know he really can't do much so I don't expect it and I just keep serving. Happily. Maybe this is what the Savior meant when he said, "But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant." Matthew 23:11. Now I'm not saying I'm the greatest....in fact, I'm saying quite the opposite. I'm saying that I'm self serving and naggy most of the time and I keep score. But these last three weeks I haven't. Jeff has loved me more and I love him more simply because I have just served him.
My brother in law had a sister born with a severe disability. I don't remember what it was called but she couldn't do anything for herself. She couldn't even talk. She was only supposed to live a few years, but ended up living 18. When she died her whole family was devastated. They loved her sooo much. All those years they had served and served her and she had never been able to do anything in return. That is why their love was so pure. So heartfelt. I don't think we can really understand what those 18 years of pure service did to their hearts. I know it made them more humble. I know it made them stronger.
So - what did I learn in the end? I hope that I have learned to be a little less "me, me, me," and focus more on serving Jeff. I hope that I can tuck this little experience in my pocket and be less irritated in the future about pants on the floor or something else so tiny in the scheme of things. I hope I've learned to be a better servant. And hopefully this will carry over into other aspects of my life. Hopefully I can be a better sister, mother, friend and daughter. Hopefully I can serve harder in my calling at church and in my home. Hopefully I will remember the sweetness that I have felt these last 3 weeks and hopefully I'll let it change me for the better.