Shane

Last week I shared President Eyring's talk about noticing the hand of the Lord in our lives.  I was brought back to this blog.  It was so great to read these things.  It was awesome to feel all the feels again.  So maybe I'll start this up again.  I need to keep a record of the ways I've seen the hand of the Lord in my life and there's no better place than here to do it I think.  

Today I'm grateful for Shane.  I'm so grateful that I was able to find such a good, good man to marry.  Today as I woke up without him, I was sad.  I miss his cheeriness and his laugh.  It seems like he is always in a good mood.  He has a very calming influence over me.  

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and we were talking about my blood pressure.  It has gone way down and is consistently staying down.  This is due to the medication, of course, but she also said that maybe my new happy life is helping.  I agree.  It is.

So today I'm grateful for Shane.  He's nicer and more fun than he is handsome and to some that might seem impossible because he is SO DREAMY.  I don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm certainly grateful. 

Gratitude for things

Today I'm so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I'm so grateful to be able to go to a meeting on a Saturday night and feel so much love from my Heavenly Father.  I am grateful to be able to hear messages from the leaders of the church that touch my soul and make me want to be a better person.  I think sometimes I take for granted how amazing it is to be given so many opportunities to feel the spirit.

I'm thankful for temples.  I'm so thankful for the spirit I feel there and for how serving there also makes me feel so loved and makes me want to head out of there and do better, serve more.

I'm thankful for my trials.  Really.  They have brought me closer to my Savior and have made me love and appreciate Him more like a friend,  rather than a holy being that is just out of my reach.  I'm thankful for the growth that has come from a hard experience.  I am thankful for little acts of kindness that have helped me through.  I'm so grateful for the woman who stopped by my door with a treat the morning I felt so low.  I'm thankful for the other woman who dropped by my house that exact same day with flowers for me.  There was no way that either of those women could have known about my sorrow.  In fact, those women hardly knew me at all.  But Heavenly Father must have whispered to them that I needed some love.  I hope that He can whisper to me when those around me need some love too.  I love the gospel of Jesus Christ that fosters service and kindness to others.  It's important.  It's real.  We all need it and we all need to give it.

So, all together I'm just sitting here today grateful.  It started last night when the tears couldn't stop falling for almost the entire meeting. Watch it here if you didn't get a chance.  It was so great.

(Relief SocietyMeeting)

Lizzy and Jesus

Sunday we went out to my cousin Alex's homecoming from his mission.  He gave a great report and you can tell that he was a great missionary.  Afterwards we took the kids out to the temple.  I asked Liz if she wanted to go see the big Jesus. When we came around the corner to where he was she gasped, threw out her arms and ran over to it.  She couldn't reach anything but his toe - but she just held onto it.  She said, "I love Jesus. I want to hug him."  So I lifted her up and she hugged his knee.
She was mesmerized.




Why does a 4 year old feel love so strong for a man she has never met?  Why the overwhelming love?  It's been all she can talk about since we've been home.  She keeps saying that she wants to see him, when she is very, very old.  (I told her there would be no meeting him anytime soon.)

I love the faith and love of a child.  I love that she loves him so much and at this age she doesn't even know why.  Someday she will understand all that he has done for her.  But for now, I think that love she had for him before she came here still fills a corner of her heart.  I hope she never loses that feeling.  She is precious.

Hard times

See the burger king sign in the background.  It's all true.  And look at my bangs!  Awesome.

So Saturday night I was sitting in the church parking lot about 10:30 waiting to pick up 40 kids from the dance and to shove them in every possible crevice of my car.  (And don't forget the back smells like total death from the people before us, who either spilled a ton of dairy back there and never cleaned it up, or because they murdered someone and hauled them around in the back of my suburban for weeks.)  Either way the ones in the trunk got a nose full.

Anyway, I digress.  I was waiting to pick up all these kids and all of a sudden I thought, "When did this happen?? When did I become the old lady mom waiting to pick up the kids instead of the being one of the cool kids leaving the dance and heading over to Burger King afterwards.  WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?  It really freaked me out and I've been a little depressed ever since.

Life is flying by too quickly.  One second ago I was 14, running around the dances and being just as annoying as Courtney and her friend Ally.  (Sorry mom).  When did I get all old? "I'm the crypt keeper!!!" 

I know I have five kids, I know I've gained a bazillion pounds, but somewhere in my mind, I didn't get older.
Now I know for sure.  And I don't think I like it.

Here she goes....

 She is heading to High School.  I have a daughter old enough to go to High School.  When did Jeff and I get so old?  When did she?  She is such a neat girl.  She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the out.  She is kind to everyone.  She is such a great older sister and helps out so much around the house.  She loves the gospel and strives so hard to be a great example to others.  She is modest. She is virtuous.  She is ADORABLE.


And she is heading into the fire. Sometimes I look at the world and wonder how my kids are going to make it through unscathed. I hear scary stories about high school these days and I thought it was scary in my day.  "In my day?"  Am I 100?  Really, I think today aged me 20 years.  But I digress.  I hope that in four years I can say all the same things about her.

 I hope that, like me, she has a great friend who helps her through.  Me and Michele didn't care about being "popular" or hanging with the "right" people.  We just had fun together.  We laughed and laughed and laughed our way through high school and it was great.  I don't have horrible memories of that time of my life.  It was fun.  I had good friends and did good things.  I'm grateful that Courtney has so many good girls that surround her and will help her to keep her values high.  We made a great move 4 years ago into a ward that has so many girls her age.  I am grateful for her.  I love her very much.  I hope the next four years bring her so much happiness (and very little drama and very little heartache ).

So, Saturday night was the first annual Surprise AZ LDS prom.  It was amazing.  It looked so beautiful.  We were all so proud of how it turned out. We personally thought it was at the greatest spot right by the lake and that everything turned out just as we had hoped.

 One of the kids wrote on Facebook this morning that it was "like a prom in the movies."  Do  you know how great that makes you feel as a leader?  I know the kids have no idea the time or energy that goes into something like this.  I know I didn't as a kid.  But when a statement like that is made it makes all the hard work worth it.  I'm so thankful to Valarie and Annette and Sasha and Kristin and everyone else who put in countless hours to make this night a success.  And it really was just that - success.

I couldn't be more proud of our kids.  They were all dressed so modestly in amazing dresses and they danced and laughed and had a good time.  I am glad that there was a place for them to have a dance that lived up to their standards.  They want to be good and to be surrounded by goodness.  They are an amazing generation.  I love them so much!

Ah ha ha ha 3 days.....

So Tuesday I made a goal to get back on here for just a sec everyday.  I didn't even make it to WEDNESDAY!!  I really am losing my mind.  I really am a flake.  But here is the picture of the day.  I think my niece, Abby, may be the cutest baby on the entire planet.  She is the most darling thing and I can't wait to hold her and love her and smother her with all these smothers that I have been saving since last August.
Today I am thankful for Lexi and all she does to raise these special kids.  She is my hero.  I don't know how she does it. She is a wonder to me.
And PS - Isn't it sweet how my picture in the corner is looking so adoringly over at my little Abby?

Friends

So, I am terrible at keeping a journal.  I never really get on here either.  But I'm making a little goal to try to write something small everyday. I am sure that it will last 3 days, but here goes.

Today I am thankful for good friends.  My friend Terri came out for her Grandmother's funeral and after that came out and stayed with us for a night.  She has been gone longer than we were friends, but when we all get back together it's just like she never left.  Our kids love each other and play so well.  I adore her and think she's the greatest.  It was just a perfect 24 hours.  We will miss you Watsons.

Here's a preview ....

Isn't he cute??

Today I did this fun senior photo shoot.  I really have forgotten how much I love this and how much fun it can be. We all laughed and laughed, had a great time and in the end we got some great pictures too.  We even got chased by a steer with huge horns!   Thanks Breck for being so dang photogenic. You made my job easy.

Play Dates

 So lately whenever I'm around my kids friends, I can't help but get out my new lens and snap, snap, snap.  Aren't these cute kids??

The Sacrament

There are so many things I would have to explain about this to someone who was not a member of our faith, therefore, I will just write it like you know what I'm talking about.

Last week my 12 year old boy received the Priesthood.  His dad once explained it to him as, "God giving a little bit of His power to you."  I have loved that explanation and have thought about it many times.  Well, last Sunday, God gave a little bit of His power to my son Chandler.   It was beautiful to witness his ordination and to see this step in my son's progression.

Yesterday he passed the sacrament for the first time.  I loved seeing him study and prepare so that he knew just right where to go and to make sure that he didn't mess up.  I loved watching him get on his suit and making sure his hair looked just right.  I loved how he proclaimed that morning, "The first time I get to pass the sacrament is on Easter!  Isn't that great?!"

 I love his enthusiasm for the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I love that he was so ready and worthy to receive this special gift.  I love that the Priesthood was restored to the earth.  I am grateful for Joseph Smith.   I know he wasn't a perfect man and I don't expect him to have been.  He was just a man, called at 14 years old to do the greatest work that has happened in this dispensation.  I am grateful for the trials he endured,  and for his bravery and compassion towards those who constantly persecuted him.  I will ever be grateful for the restoration of the Priesthood that bright morning in 1829 when Joseph Smith  was visited by Peter, James and John and the power of the Priesthood was once again restored to the earth.

This week God gave a little of His power to Chandler.  And his life will never be the same.

Crazy Cody

Ok, so I've been a little deep lately.  Today I just want to say I'm thankful for Cody and his crazy ways.  He is always making me laugh.  The other night at my sister-in-law's wedding dinner we were all eating these giant ribs.  Cody looked up at Jeff and said, "Dad, I can't believe we are eating human ribs!"  Jeff laughed and said, "Cody, these aren't human ribs - they are from a cow."  Cody looked up at him and said, "Ewww.  That's even grosser!"  I love my Cody.

I washed his feet.....literally.

Ok so Jeff had knee surgery about 3 weeks ago.  He had his ACL replaced and some torn stuff fixed and had a fracture set or something like that.  Basically, as my kids say, "Dad's knee got jacked."  He can't put any weight on his leg for 6 weeks.  It has been really hard for him.  He can't do a lot of things by himself.  At the beginning he had a really hard time putting on his socks or putting on his brace.  One morning he called me in while he was in the shower and asked if I could wash his feet.  He just couldn't get down there to do it.  So I did.  I washed his feet.  It was then that I remembered the Savior and His great example.  It was then that I knew I needed to be more like Him.

Now over the course of these three weeks I have had to serve Jeff quite a lot.  I bring his food to him in bed or on the couch.  I get his clothes and put all of his clothes away when he drops them on the floor.  I make the bed and do all the things he can't do.  And do you know what?  I love him more.  That's right.  Serving without expecting anything in return is an amazing thing.  Most of the time when I do things for him, eventually I get mad if he isn't doing things back for me etc.  But not this time.  I know he really can't do much so I don't expect it and I just keep serving.  Happily.  Maybe this is what the Savior meant when he said, "But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant."  Matthew 23:11.  Now I'm not saying I'm the greatest....in fact, I'm saying quite the opposite.  I'm saying that I'm self serving and naggy most of the time and I keep score.  But these last three weeks I haven't.  Jeff has loved me more and I love him more simply because I have just served him.

My brother in law had a sister born with a severe disability.  I don't remember what it was called but she couldn't do anything for herself.  She couldn't even talk.  She was only supposed to live a few years, but ended up living 18.  When she died her whole family was devastated.  They loved her sooo much.  All those years they had served and served her and she had never been able to do anything in return.  That is why their love was so pure. So heartfelt.  I don't think we can really understand what those 18 years of pure service did to their hearts.  I know it made them more humble.  I know it made them stronger.

So - what did I learn in the end?  I hope that I have learned to be a little less "me, me, me," and focus more on serving Jeff.  I hope that I can tuck this little experience in my pocket and be less irritated in the future about pants on the floor or something else so tiny in the scheme of things.  I hope I've learned to be a better servant.  And hopefully this will carry over into other aspects of my life.  Hopefully I can be a better sister, mother, friend and daughter.  Hopefully I can serve harder in my calling at church and in my home.  Hopefully I will remember the sweetness that I have felt these last 3 weeks and hopefully I'll let it change me for the better.

Hope, Grace and Purity

I noticed something the other day.  I bought this magical face cream one day because I saw it on Oprah's Favorite Things.  And if it's Oprah's favorite and you can afford it, then doesn't it have to be amazing??  I don't normally watch Oprah.  But I caught this episode.  And the name of my amazing Oprah advertised face cream is called Hope.  I loved it so much that I went out a bought some for Jeff's staff for Christmas, and for my mom.  With all that extra purchasing of stuff at Ulta they gave me a little bag of sample stuff from Philosophy and in it was a body wash called GRACE.  It really is called Grace.  Now I'm getting to the good part.  So the other day when I was getting ready I realized that the perfume I got for my birthday is called Pure.  (It smells marvelous by the way.)  Every morning I wash myself with Grace, apply Hope and then cover myself in a beautiful scent called Pure.


What if this was true?  What if every morning we put on hope?  What if I woke up and had a firm hope that the day was going to be great; that my kids were going to do well in their lives and make good choices and be kind to the kids in the lunch room who don't have enough friends?  What if I woke filled with hope that my Aunt Louise will continue to get better FAST and that she will be able to eat again just like me?  What if I was filled with hope that my friends dad would pull through his cancer and that my little sister would be able to manage her tough road with two disabled children?  What if I woke to the hope that I would live together with my dad, who died much to early, again someday and that all my family would end up in the same beautiful place because of the blessings of the gospel in our lives.  Isn't hope magical?  Just like the cream that makes my skin so soft and firm, the same can be done for my life if I just have a little more hope everyday and think about it more and really hope for the things that "are not seen, which are true." (Alma 32:21)  President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, one of our modern day apostles described hope in this way.  "Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. . . Hope is a gift of the Spirit. . .  We have the responsibility to make (hope) an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope. Hope in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan of happiness leads to peace, mercy,rejoicing, and gladness. The hope of salvation is like a protective helmet; it is the foundation of our faith and an anchor to our souls."  If you want to read the whole article you can find it here.  It's worth the read.   Let's have more hope.


Grace.  I have thought a lot about this word in the last year.  When I first think of the word, I think of being graceful. When someone is graceful I think of them being soft and calm and kind.  My husband says he thinks of a ballet dancer.  I think my Grandma Marge was a graceful woman.  I want to be more like her.  I want to be less brass or loud and more still like her.  I know when people think of me, graceful isn't the first word they think of.  And that's ok.  But I'd like to work on that.  
But then when I think of grace as in the grace the Lord offers us it takes on a whole new meaning.  When I think of that kind of grace I think of the scripture found in 2 Nephi  “It is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do” (2 Ne. 25:23)  I think of the atonement of our Savior and the blessing that He gives to me.  Me.  He knows my shortcomings and my weaknesses and promises me that if I do the very best I can, He will step in and make up that difference to make me whole.  I don't think that most of us really understand this principle.  I think most of us are out there trying to perfect ourselves and are always falling short.  But if I understand grace correctly it is an AMAZING gift from our Father in Heaven through His son Jesus Christ.  Because of grace I can return to live with Him again.  Because of grace I can make mistakes and repent and He will love me just the same as He did before the mistakes.  I want to study more about grace and understand it more.  But I know that it is something that I want everyday.  I know I need that extra help and support from the Savior everyday. I went back to Ulta to buy the big container of Grace and found it was too expensive.  I went home empty handed and decided to use my little bottle sparingly.  This is the opposite of the grace I get from heaven.  The grace I am offered is free.  The grace I'm offered never runs out and can be used as often as I choose to turn to the Lord.  I am grateful for Grace.  Wouldn't it be great if we really did wash ourselves in His grace every day?


Lastly, in my morning routine I spray on my perfume.  "Pure".  This word is a beautiful word to me.  It embodies so much. I want to be pure.  I want my thoughts and actions to be more pure.  I want to think only the best of others.  I want to judge less and love more.  I want to watch good media and listen to uplifting songs.  I want to have a clean heart.  I think it would be awesome to have a spray that I could cover my body with every day, like a blanket or a protection that would keep me pure.  I wish the influences of the world didn't creep in so often and make me feel a little less worthy  - a little less pure.  I want my children to be protected from the terrible influences of pornography and the evils of the world that try so hard to invade our homes and our children's minds.  I want my three year old to stay as pure as she is now.  Purity.  It's beautiful.  It's clean.  It's tangible. It is visible in the eyes of those who's thoughts and actions are pure.  I want it to be more visible in me.


Now that I have noticed these things, I hope I think about them every day as I use them.  What a sweet little blessing it was to see these things in such a new light.

Validation

Found this on one of my mom's students blogs this morning.  I love it so much.  A little long, but worth it. Validation

Answered prayers

Today, (well yesterday really) I am thankful for answered prayers.  I am thankful for the times when the Lord gives me specific answers to my problems.  At times they have come as thoughts, like when I prayed strong and hard one night at a loss at what to do over my son's stuttering problems.  Before the prayer was finished, the thought came into my mind: read to him, have him read to you.  Very specific.  And as I did this I saw improvements.  The Lord told me right away what to do.  There have been other times where searching, praying, fasting, getting blessings and the like have drawn on, testing my patience and faith.  But eventually answers came.  Other times, like when my dad passed away far too young from cancer, the answer wasn't the one we all prayed for.  But even then, in those still moments I knew He had heard us, that He loved us still and there was a plan for us.  Most of the time the answers to my prayers and pondering come to me through the words of the scriptures.  The Book of Mormon is magic in this way.  If you are searching or struggling for answers or to know the will of the Lord in you life - immerse yourself in the scriptures.  Pray, ponder, repent, pray some more and read.  The Lord will tell you plain as day in the writings of the scriptures what you should do and how He feels about you.  It's amazing.

But this week I fasted and prayed for an answer and a thought kept coming to my mind.  It wasn't my plan.  It wasn't anything I had thought about, but it still kept nagging at me.  So I started investigating into the solution and one was laid out for me in a miraculous way.  I love my Heavenly Father.  I love that He knows me, listens to me and answers me.

Antibiotics and other little things I take for granted

I'm grateful today for antibiotics.  I'm so glad I live in a day where I can catch a sickness early, take a prescription and feel really good within 2 days.  What did the pioneers do when they had a UTI while crossing the plains?  Poor, poor ancestors.  I'm grateful that the Lord lets us live in so much luxury.  Even when I complained about being soo poor in school we were so rich compared to those early saints and what they had and what comforts they didn't enjoy.
I wasn't asked to grind up my china to put in the walls of the temple to make them shiny.  I wasn't asked to walk across the plains or give up all my possessions and family or burry kids along the way.  I'm asked to make some posters, get some speakers, arrange some music for a youth conference.  I'm asked to go to a lot of meetings:  meetings that are held in a climate controlled beautiful building where I am free to worship unafraid.   Really, I've got it easy.  I need to never forget that.

Generous Strangers

Yesterday I was thankful for the lady in line at Michaels who gave me an extra 40% off coupon because I was buying something big for Courtney's good grades and I don't get the paper and so I didn't have a coupon and I was going to put back my item and go home and search the internet for a coupon and then come back later and buy it. (wow really long sentence!)  She said, "I have an extra one."  She saved me $30.
It reminded me of the lady on the plane when I was heading back from Las Vegas once.  It was super turbulent and I got really sick.  The stewardess wouldn't let me go back to the bathroom - just handed me a bag.  I was sitting between two STRANGERS and had to throw up and throw up into a bag!  I was horrified.  I bent my head down as far as I could between my legs to try to spare my "neighbors" -  well, all of a sudden, I felt someone rubbing my back.  That stranger on the plane felt bad for me.  She didn't dry heave or roll her eyes or any of the things she could have done.  She just rubbed my back until I was done.
"When saw we thee a stranger...."

Lexi

Tonight I'm thankful for my sister Lexi.  She is something of a wonder.  I don't have the words to write how much I admire her.  She is an amazing mother and wife.  She has 4 kids -two of which are disabled.  I don't think any of us realize what her days are like.  I don't think any of us realize how hard it is.  And somewhere along the line she got all crafty.  She's really talented.  Today I got a box in the mail with a ton of paper flowers that she had made.  I told her how darling her wreath and garland were, but that it was too hard to make the flowers and I was burning my fingers off - so what does she do?  She makes me a ton of flowers.  And leaves.  I just have to go get the garland and hook them on.
Do you not realize how much she has to do in a day?  I can't even make it to the post office and my life is a piece of cake compared to hers.  How did she find the time to make me the flowers AND mail them.  Thank you Lexi.  Thanks for being AMAZING.  Thanks for taking your trials with your head held high and for being a great example to all the rest of us.  And thanks for making all those flowers for me.  Hug that sweet little Abby for me and give a big high five to those cute boys.  I love you.

So last night I didn't get a chance to write what I was thankful for because I was making Cream Brulee French Toast for breakfast.  Sounded so delicious but just ended up being suggary sog.  :(  Anyhow, if I could rewind to last night I would say that I am thankful for Blake.  He is such an amazing little kid.  He loves the gospel so much and has such strong feelings at such a young age.  He came home from church on Sunday and wanted to share a scripture with me.  He read to me the story of the Good Samaritan.  He talked about how sad it was that people just walked by.  Then I said, "We are having company over for dinner tomorrow, do you want to give this for a family home evening lesson?"  He said, "Sure."  Even though it was a new family in our ward and he didn't know any of them.  He then spent the day copying down the scripture on a piece of paper.  Then he found the picture of the good samaritan in the gospel art kit. He climbed up the counter and found a bandaid and  then he pestered me for a container that holds oil and wine to pour in his wounds.  The back of his lesson is the cutest.

He gave it like a pro. Asked questions.  Had volunteers hold up the "water bottle" (vile of wine) and the bandaid. He had someone else hold the picture.  I couldn't stop smiling.  What a great kid he is.  I know the Lord has amazing things in store for him.  I love Blake.